Looking at the World in which we live, and trying to keep up with the frenetic pace of society, we all feel anger at sometime or other. Usually this experience doesn’t last long, we get angry, we resolve the situation, and we move on. It’s simple.

But anger can become a major problem, especially if we bottle   it up. It can also be a problem when we explode. Anger, in both of these instances can cause problems for all of us, and those around us.

This being so, anger can present us with problems. So what is it and where does it come from?

Feelings of anger are said to be a natural response to events and situations, which are simply beyond our control. Feelings of anger can also be a warning bell that we are under far too much stress.  and it can be hard to know if we should just let our anger pass or work at getting rid of it.

Anger can become a major issue in a person’s life. Indeed intense anger can lead to violence and even murder. This being so, if ‘anger’ is a problem to you, a loved one, or even someone you know, perhaps we should try to look for ways of dealing with it:

According to the experts…

Anger is a problem if it is constantly on a person’s mind for several weeks at a time and is beginning to seriously harm his or her enjoyment of life. Especially if that anger was caused by something that happened a long time ago. Possibly even as far back as childhood.

Anger is also a problem when it drives us to do vengeful and spiteful things. Makes us behave violently, both with others and ourselves. Ruins our abilities to work and or socialise, and damages, possibly even destroys our relationships with those who are important to us.

On the subject of dealing with our anger issues, the same expert opinion informs us that it is most important to deal with our anger before it causes us ‘discomfort or pain.’

Apparently, much research and numerous studies have shown that anger can trigger serious health problems such as ulcers and even heart disease. Uncontrolled anger can cause us to lose our jobs, our friends, our loved ones, our marriages, our freedom, and even our lives. 

The good news is that there are some ‘things’ we can do to deal with our anger as it happens. Other things we can do involve changing our way of approaching life by learning new attitudes and taking a number of practical actions.

Short-term solutions

• Admit that you are angry. If you bottle up your angry feelings, they will not go away, and they will keep coming out over and over again, painfully.
• Try not to over-react. Step back from the situation that is making you angry and ask yourself, "What would I think of someone else if I saw him/her getting angry in this situation?" or "Is this situation really as bad as I am making it out to be?"
• Try to make yourself think about something else. Turn your attention to some pleasant memory rather than the line-up, traffic jam or whatever is irritating you.
• Identify the source of your anger. If the actions or words of another person are hurting you, try to you deal with him/her directly in a peaceful and productive way.
• Listen carefully to what others are saying to you, and let them finish without interruption. Very often, you will not understand the real message if you "jump in" after a few words. Give people a chance to explain themselves.

Long-term solutions

• If your anger is caused by something beyond your control, such as a job lay-off, find out how others have dealt with the problem successfully, and try to follow their lead.
• Avoid blaming yourself, even if you are angry because of misfortune caused by your own mistake. It is best to try to learn from your experiences and avoid making the same mistakes again.
• Reduce tension by finding time for some physical activity. Go for a brisk walk, play a hard game of tennis with a friend, work in the garden, or clean the house.
• Reduce your stress level. Learn some stress management methods, such as relaxation and deep-breathing exercises. Try to find ways of doing more of the things you enjoy.
• Learn to meditate. When you are alone, practise withdrawing your thoughts from your day-to-day concerns. This may make you more able to do the same when you find yourself getting angry.
• Learn to laugh at yourself. If you can learn to see the silly side of things, you can laugh instead of lashing out.
• Learn to trust the abilities of others. Some of our anger may be coming from a lack of faith in the capabilities of other people.
• Look for professional help. If the problems are serious, he or she may need the help of a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker. Your family doctor can help you find these professional people.
• Talk to someone we trust (a family member, a close friend or a member of the clergy for your religion) who may be able to see things more clearly than you do.