Feelings of
loneliness and worthlessness
are frequently linked with suicide.
Loneliness is not the same as being alone.
Whilst some of us choose to spend our time alone, and never
feel isolated or lonely - some of us can surround ourselves with others, and still only ever experience
feeling isolated and lonely.
This can be especially taxing if one's main (or sole) contact
is shallow, verbal and impersonal Such shallow contacts can be hard work - like some form of emotional-energy
draining vampire. Leaving us feeling that our relationships with others are both physically insubstantial and emotionally
meaningless. This can be very disheartening and very bad for our self esteem.
Such feelings can unsettle us and even make us feel guilty, as
if we are somehow to blame for not being content (or for even feeling unfulfilled) with the company we are in. These feelings
simply intensify our frustration and possibly account for why so many of our relationships come to an unhappy end.
As human beings we have an inbuilt need for the warm comforting
glow we experience from knowing that we are unconditionally accepted and loved. In the absence of this most fundamental
of all of our emotional needs; we can become isolated and haunted by feelings of loneliness and the belief that we are not
worthy of acceptance and/or love.
Human Beings suffering from loneliness can often be hyper-sensitive
to rejection. We actually look for rejection because we expect rejaction. This being so, we begin to see ourselves being
rejected even when we aren't. It feels like all of one's senses are in an heightened semi-permanent state of expectation
of being rejected.
This expectation almost invariably results in our over sensitivity
which can transform the slightest snub (actual or perceived - intended or unintended) into a very painful but unquestionable
proof that we really are not worth knowing. This "sought after rejection" serves to validate, entrench and enhance these
feelings of worthlessness.
Our feelings of worthlessness are extremely destructive. They
lead some of us into hurtful and damaging relationships where our feelings of worthlessness are reinforced and further
entrenched. Ironically, these self-same feelings can also keep us in such damaging and abusive relationships.
A great many of us find acceptance through an institutional
identity: Armed forces. Police etc. Whilst others amonst us find acceptance in the fellowship of religious and political
movements and assorted cults and belief systems - including psychiatry.
Many of us simply become so brutalised that we just give
up with everything and accept our worthlessness - and by so doing, commit the ultimate betrayal - we
abandon ourselves.
The two main methods of self-abandonment are alcoholism and drug
addiction. Both of which are self-medicating. Usually, this type of self-medication is heavily abused to provide
us with an alternate way of life. Or better still, a way to avoid life.
Many of us end up in "dead end lifestyles" which can lead
many into poverty, homelessness, prostitution and criminality.
All of which, being in a sense, self-harming
activities, certainly suggests a complete and utter indifference on our part - to whatever consequences befall us. I am obviously no expert, but it does seem as if the total belief that no one cares for us can trigger a
similar self-hate recklessness towards ourselves.
Some of us sink into the darkness which is mental illness
and take our own lives whilst there.
Whenever we are feeling lonely, isolated and worthless,
many of us would gain enormous benefit by speaking with a fellow human being.
When we simply have to get the unhappiness off
of our chests and just cannot bottle up any more pressure, we need to talk with someone who is an attentive,
non-judgemental listener. Even one we do not know.
They say that talking is the first step in the recovery
process. It may well be for many of us - those that can - the next step could involve a visit to the family doctor.
All too often the doctor will seek to address the anxiety
and depression associated with loneliness by 'treating' with medication. It seems to me that prescription drugs appear only
to address the symptoms and not the underlying cause.
It is said that counselling provides a more holistic view
of a person - past and present, body and mind - and aim to reduce the feelings of isolation through self understanding and
release of past pains that cut them off from others - and themselves.
CONCLUSION
It really does seem that the more we are packed together,
the greater the distance between us becomes.
However, loneliness is one of those things which we can
all do something about.
To eliminate the suffering caused by loneliness, we simply
need to be nice with each other. Simply being nice to each other Would change the world.
CUDDLES ARE ONE OF THE FINEST WEAPONS HUMANITY HAS TO COMBAT LONELINESS AND
FEELINGS OF WORTHLESSNESS.
