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TRAUMA
Although untreated depression is invariably cited as the main cause of suicide;
depression is (all too often) rooted in trauma. This being so, the purpose of these pages is to try to understand,
what is trauma ?
So, what is trauma ?
Chambers Pocket Dictionary defines trauma as...
trauma noun. 1 injury to the body
2 a very violent or distressing experience
which has a lasting effect. 3 a condition
(of a person) caused in this way.
Traumas can strike anyone at anytime. Trauma can take a thousand different forms, but all consist
of three common elements.
- The event was unexpected.
- The victim was unprepared.
- There was nothing the victim could do to prevent it from happening.
We are professionally assured that following a trauma, the best resource for emotional first aid
is you and those you love. This is undoubtably true. But sometimes trauma sufferers are the victims of crime.
This being so, the following numbers are included to assist you. If you are the victim of crime,
it may be wise to speak with the people at your Victim Support Agency.
NATIONAL ORGANIZATION FOR VICTIM ASSISTANCE USA
VICTIM SUPPORT NEW ZEALAND
VICTIM SUPPORT SOUTH AFRICA
VICTIM SUPPORT UK & REPUBLIC OF IRELAND
AUSTRALASIAN DIRECTORY OF VICTIM SERVICES
CANADIAN DIRECTORY OF VICTIM SERVICES
The Phases of TRAUMA
According to expert opinion, there are six distinct phases which one must pass through
to overcome a major trauma.
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
- Hope
Starting with denial. We experience confusion and need to come to terms with what has happened. This is
not so simple as it appears. Sometimes 'shock' can shut down the system. Many people can get stuck on this issue and find
it impossible to move on by themselves. Which is why it is important to get help.
Anger needs to be expressed in a healthy way. All too often, anger seems to become self-destructive or mis-directed
to punish others who are innocent of all involvement. Anger management courses could be of great assitance in addressing this
particular problem.
Bargaining is self-explanatory and seems to be the final act of denial before the full horror of a situation
begins to "kick in".
Depression, this is the stage of grieving. People need to know that others are concerned about them and
genuinely care for them. This leads to a gradual lifting of feelings. This really does need the support of others. Isolating
one's self only tends to increase depression and other negative emotions.
Acceptance; this seems to be the breakthrough phase and is characterised by a lifting of sadness and a willingness
to live. Again good company plays an important role in this process.
Hope. Revitalisation of energy. A renewed interest in old friendships. The development of new relationships
and the welcome return of Laughter. A person's sense of humour is said to return. Laughter is without doubt, an extremely
healthy and effective therapy.
Shock
Experiencing trauma can send the system into shock. It closes down. Numb. Dissociated.
Cut off from time and place. Cut off from pain Skin feel cold and clammy.
This experience is both scary and unreal. It is like being vaguely aware of what's happening
but at the same time not. Being trapped in a nightmare and unable to awaken. It is very easy to believe that you're simply
going mad, and depending on the nature of the trauma, madness could seem preferable.
What has happened or what is happening may seem totally unreal. Or simply not happening at
all. Or, never did happen. You were there, but it wasn't you.
One goes numb but bodily sensations are more like a tingling feeling. Your skin feels
cold and strange. Heightened. Hyper-alert. Hearing is acute. You feel as if you are no longer within your own body. Like
a floating sensation. Panic wells up as your body is shutting down. Heart beat quickens. Difficulty in breathing.
Stomach tightens. Mind races. You need to withdraw into a place of safety deep inside. It is fight or
flight and you flee into the only sanctuary still open to you - yourself.
Ironically, when you 'shut down' it appears that you have been unaffected by the experience.
Others often confuse this with being strong or uncaring, this is untrue, your system is overloaded - you are in shock.
Following trauma
Apparently it is normal to experience a wide range of feelings and emotions such as fear, helplessness,
sadness, guilt, longing, shame, anger, disappointment, hope etc. These are often accompanied by common sensations of: Tiredness.
Sleeplessness. Bad dreams. Fuzziness of the mind. Loss of memory and concentration. Dizziness. Palpitations. Trembling. Difficulty
in breathing. Choking in the throat and chest. Nausea. Diarrhoea. Muscualar tension which can lead to pain; headaches, neck
or backaches. Abdominal pain. Menstrual disorders and change in sexual interest - whatever that is ?
At this point we are told that it is vital not to cling to the experience. But also not to deny that
it happened. This is typical of the ever-present do's and don'ts.
Do's include
Making sure you get enough sleep and relaxation; and spend as much time as possible with family and friends.
Allow yourself to be part of a group of people who care. Try to keep your life as normal as possible and be guided by those
that you trust. Take every opportunity to relive and review the experience this is where the good listener comes in.
It can be a great comfort and relief to discover that there are others who have experienced what you have
experienced. Sharing both physical and emotional support with these people would provide enormous help. We could
all learn from their lives and experiences. However, there are also times when the most important thing will be to have a
little time to oneself. Tell people this so they can understand you better.
Don'ts include
Do not allow yourself to bottle up your feelings and do not avoid talking about what's happened and how
you feel about it. Do not turn to alcohol and drugs to erase the hurt. Do not expext the memories to go away; these feelings
could stay with you for a very long time to come.
if
If you have suffered trauma at
some point and still feel tension, confusion, emptiness and exhaustion. If those initial feelings of emotional numbness
persist, or, you keep active, simply not to feel anything. If you continue to have nightmares
and poor sleep. If your relationships suffer. If sexual problems develop. If you start having accidents because of lack of
concentration. If you smoke, drink, or take drugs to excess since the events. If your work suffers etc. You could still be
in shock.
Remember these things:
- 1/ You are still alive - you are a survivor.
- 2/ You are the same person you were before - a survivor.
- 3/ You are starting on the road to recovery.
- 4/ Help is available - you are not alone.
- 5/ Things will get better.
'Triggers' can be anything. Words, sounds, smells, sights, memories, anniversaries (such as New
Year, Christmas, birthdays etc). Anything. Anything can be associations linking people with past trauma. Anything. Indeed,
research last year showed that that more people commit suicide on a monday morning than any other time of the week.
It would appear good advice for anyone struggling against suicidal compulsion to recognise what
his or her triggers are and avoid them. I know that this is easier said than done, but these 'triggers' are very real and
can result in a very sudden, and very lethal suicidal act.
DANGER Sometimes unresolved traumas may get re-triggered long after the original
event. This can completely shatter a person's sense of self and can itself lead to another suicidal crisis. Clearly one
needs to come to terms with what has happened to minimise the risk of it ever recurring.
Coming to terms with what has happened would best be achieved alongside a fully accredited
counsellor. Accordingly, the following 'click ons' will link you to nationally recognised Counselling Associations.
Remind ourselves that we are not our thoughts and feelings. Nor are we a medical "condition" we are still
us - believe it or not - and we need to accept that there will be loved ones who will treat us as a "condition".
- Having accepted that we are normal and have normal reactions - we must not label ourselves crazy. Nor should
we burst into tears if other people do. It will say far more about them, than it will about us !
- We should endeavour to keep busy. But, resist the temptation to act on impulse. Especially strong impulses,
which can be deceiving.
- We should talk to people - talk is one of the best healing medicines. Having said that, it is
essential that we share our feelings and thoughts with someone that we trust.
- We must not dull the pain with alcohol and drugs. Although this is the easiest and all too often the most
attractive alternatives to emotional stress - it really doesn't work.
- We must reach out - people do care. It would be unreal and unfair to expect those closest
to us to understand what we are going through. But, it is most important to locate others who have been through, or, who are
going through the same experience. Sharing with others who know what you are going through is an enormous help and assistance.
- Maintain as normal a life as possible.
- Spend as much time as possible with others.
- Share our feelings - and listen to the feelings of others.
- Allow ourselves to feel bad and share these feelings.
- Keep a journal - especially through the sleepless nights. The journal could contain happy memories, thoughts,
jokes, stories, cartoons etc. Journaling can also be a great tool to obtain clarity and understanding of an issue.
It can be used to help track your moods and symptoms providing you with insights, self awareness and a greater 'control
of self'.
- Do things that make us feel good about ourselves. Helping others is a very positive activity
and practised by many people around the world. Why not consider working as a volunteer? Helping others makes you value yourself and
so feel good about yourself. Clearly the more vital the work, the better you can feel about yourself. This being so, may I
suggest involving yourself in another small DASI initiative http://johnnessuno.tripod.com/bankofsouls
- Accept that those nearest to us will also be under a lot of stress.
- Don't make any major life changes.
- Making decisions gives us feelings of control, make lots of decisions.
- Recurring (intrusive) dreams, thoughts or flashbacks are normal - don't fight them. They do decrease and
become less painful.
- Eat well and eat regular - even if you don't want to.
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