I took my own life early in 2005. It is hard to explain the aftermath of such a devastating event. Because there shouldn't be one. The chaos. Disjointed and random images; an overwhelming sense of unreality, liberating and choking at the same time. The slow dawning and the unimagineable shock of discovering that life had returned and I had become 'numbness'

 

It must have been several days after the event when the hammer-blow hit me. The realisation that whilst my death could not have failed - I couldn't even get staying dead right. That realisation was a terrible shock... Time stopped. I was alone, suffering and experiencing  hallucinations. I needed help and there was no-one there.

 

There is someone there for you. It's only me I'm afraid,  but we both survived and now need to pick up the pieces.

 

Two years have now passed and I know that I am not out of danger. Perhaps having attempted suicide, we will never be out of danger - who knows?

 

Anyway, that's all history. The most important thing at this moment is YOU. How you are feeling, and coming to terms with what has happened.